Forthright Fixation

It’s odd how I trust some people instantly, and quickly have deep, meaningful conversations with them. And it’s stranger still how I can know someone for years and years, and yet never really let them get to know me, or try to pursue them as more than an acquaintance. With the latter situation I may have long conversations with them, and still somehow manage to keep the banter just that—banter. It’s superficial, trivial, and mostly meaningless. Each of us walks away from the conversation slightly amused, but rather bored. Neither one of us is edified, and the other person may be frustrated at my efforts to keep our friendship mundane. The reality is that rather than let them peek into my soul for a moment, I sacrifice a friendship with them that encourages both of us.

The reasons for this are varied. I may be lazy, and not want to bother pursuing them. I may be proud, and think that I would not benefit from furthering the friendship. Perhaps, I think they’re not at my “spiritual level.” I hate to admit it, but there have been times when my thoughts and motives not pursuing friendships have been that sinful. How selfish! With this attitude, my sole purpose of friendship is to seek whatever benefit I can get out of the relationship. This is not living in light of the Gospel. I’m not loving them as I ought—not treating them as the Lord calls me to:

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. (Phil. 2:3, ESV)

The Lord came as a servant, humbly seeking to meet His people as one of them, in order to reconcile them to Himself. He didn’t quibble about His own benefit from this, or how miserable He’d be stooping down to our mean estate and becoming one of our lowly kind. Instead, He willingly laid aside His glory, His comfort, and His continual fellowship with the Father, to be our Redeemer.

By this we know love, that He laid down His life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. (1 John 3: 16, ESV)

If He was willing to do that for me, I can do no less to honor Him than to obey His call to love my brothers and sisters in Christ. I must seek to sincerely love them, to serve them. My laziness and self-seeking must be crucified with Him. I can initiate a deeper conversation by opening up my own heart and life to them, sharing what God’s been teaching me, and then inquiring about what He’s been up to in their walk with them. It may be uncomfortable, but I need to crucify my comfort in order to be a servant. By opening up, I can make others at ease to share and to be genuine.

How will that look in reality? I suppose I’ll need to be sincere when I ask you how you’re doing, and to inquire after God’s work in your life. When we’re wrapping up our conversation, it means asking you how I can be praying for you—and really follow through with it. It means listening to you attentively, and really caring about what you say. The Lord did for me, and I am compelled by the Gospel to live in that same spirit.

So, my friends, for the sake of the Gospel, let’s seek to live out the Gospel in our interaction with our brothers and sisters in the Lord. Seek to fellowship with each other, and do not fail to rejoice with each other over the Spirit’s work in your life. Pointing to the Lord’s work in the lives of others is a wonderful way to edify each other. We can do that by taking the time to get to know each other and observing His work in our brothers and sisters in the Lord.

I need to be more purposeful in this, by His grace. But do you know what’s amazing? There is grace for this.

Filed under: Fellowship