Forthright Fixation

I sat down late one night after a long day of work; I was discouraged, I was discontent, I was weary. In my heart I had been fighting a battle all day long, but I was dwelling on thoughts that only fueled that fire of discontent and discouragement. The more I thought of those things, the more discouraged I was. The more discouraged I was, the more discontent my heart grew. As my heart grew discontent, I was becoming weary. It was a battle I was tired of fighting with my own strength and I was growing more and more tired as time went on. By 11:30pm I was about to give up…not in a good and godly way of saying “I surrender to You Lord” but instead more of an “I’m through with this” kind of sinful attitude.

After talking with a friend, I was kindly pointed to my wrong and sinful thinking. Once that was identified I was asked what I was going to do about it. She then quickly pointed me to our Savior and encouraged me to spend some time with the Lord before going to bed.

“What now, Lord?” I prayed. “I’m tired. I’m tired of this. I’m not satisfied and I know it. I also know that only You can satisfy, but somehow I feel like something is missing. Is it a lack of faith? Unbelief?” I opened up my Bible to the following verse.

“For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things.” Psalm 107:9 (ESV)

I read that verse over and over. I looked at the verse again and the words that stood out to me were not “for he satisfies” or “fills with good things”. The more I thought about it, the more sense it made. It doesn’t say “For he satisfies the unsatisfied” or “the discontent soul he fills with good things.” No…it said the longing and the hungry souls he will satisfy and fill with good things. Trying to figure out the difference was a bit of a challenge at first, but God gave me much grace and started revealing my heart to me. I was just freshly reminded that I need that longing and hungry soul not an unsatisfied, discontent and selfish one. My prayer has been that God would make me yearn for him. That he would give me a hunger and that I would, by his grace, not just know but also believe that only he can satisfy that hunger, and that he desires to do so. Because of his Son dying on the cross for my sin, he called me to be his daughter; he demands my life, my all. I want to live because of the cross, because I have been given life when I don’t deserve it. I deserve God’s wrath and instead he gave me this gift. How can one receive such a gift and not yearn for more of the God who saved you?

Filed under: Joy in Christ, Satisfied