The Responsibility of Example
I paused on the stairs as I heard my name.
“Mommy, why can’t I do it? Hännah did it!”
I cringed, and flew up the rest of the stairs to my room. My ears burnt, and I counted my footfalls on the old gray carpet to avoid hearing the rest of the conversation. While I hadn’t done anything wrong, Mom didn’t want the younger kids to know about it, to prevent jealousy. If I have a privilege, my siblings seem to assume that they are all suddenly entitled to the same privilege and are eager to copy me.
A sweet country song about a father discovering his little son imitating him came to mind:
I’ve been watching you, Dad, ain’t that cool? / I’m your buckaroo, I wanna be like you / An’ eat all my food an’ grow as tall as you are
We got cowboy boots and camo pants / We’re just alike, hey ain’t we, Dad? / I wanna do everything you do / So I’ve been watching you. (“Watchin’ You”, Rodney Atkins)
I sometimes feel like that with my siblings (there’s 9 of us altogether), with my friends, even with the ladies in our church who I’ve babysat for. They’re watching me. They take note of what they see. And, quite frankly, that’s terrifying. ‘Cause I know what they don’t—that I’m a sinner who needs the abundant grace of God every moment of every day to even keep my heart turned toward the Lord. I may have them fooled into thinking that I’m a nice person, but it’s an imputed righteousness. It’s not of me.
Everything you do is observed by those around you, and reflects upon what you believe. If I watch a movie—whether I condone it or not—I’ve just set the precedent that it’s okay to watch. My example shouts out what I believe to those around me.
Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. …Keep a close watch on yourself… (1 Tim. 4:12 & 16a, ESV)
I wonder what I’m known for. I would hope that I’m known as a testimony to God’s grace—that folks know I’m a sinner, but see the grace of God at work in my life to change me into His image far more clearly than they see me. Do they just see me, or do they see Christ in me? Do they see a façade of perfection, or do they see weaknesses being overcome by the Spirit’s work? Unfortunately, I think I’m not well known for that. More likely, I’m known to love books, baking, or children, or something else like that. Maybe I’m seen for what I do or enjoy—and I want to make certain that I’m known for Him who lives in me, rather than for myself. I want to be known for glorying in my weakness, in order to testify to His great grace.
The Gospel should define me. If I’m being watched, then I want them to see Him first. Lord, have mercy.
Filed under: Christian Living, Humility, Weakness
Hi, I found your site via the rebelution and it’s really cool! This post is pretty much what I say all the time! Matthew 18:6 which pretty much talks about the whole being an example to kids thing has always been such a convicting verse for me! Thanks for this post (it’s such a great reminder) and your whole blog!
Devorah =)
I totally agree. I have a gazillion cousins and two brothers, all of them younger than me. Everything they see is reflecting who I am and what I believe. I know I need God’s help to portray Jesus in me. The visiting pastor at our church (we’re having revival services) makes the point that Jesus is all we need to do everything right. Oh, I can’t put it the way that I want. But I have been recently wanting just that, to have a fellowship so close with God that He’s all I think about. Nothing else should matter. It’s so hard for me to portray that to everyone who’s watching me! Mainly because I’m not responsible enough to spend as much time with Him as I should. I like the verse that says ‘Draw near to God and he will draw near to you.’ (reference????) I’m resting on that promise.
This post really hit me because God just led me to write something about a newspaper article I read at a religious website regarding how Christians are portrayed in the movies these days (as in, terribly!)
God has taught me that we are constantly blaming others (many of us “Christians” in America) for something that is our own fault — that Jesus is not glorified by the profession of Christianity anymore.
God led me to be confronted with the question: What is worse, a movie that wrongly portrays Christians or a Christian who wrongly portrays Jesus?
Many professed Christians, churches, religious institutions are upset about the image of the Christian today. As much as we seek to blame others, God has shown me that the problem is not something that we can honestly blame others for. It is something that we must personally realize our guilt in and repent of.
The problem is that we too often shun the Cross in our lives for a better image — an image of success, of beauty, of self-congratulation. We shun the Cross believing that a “happy” life, rather than a life laid down, better glorifies Him. The problem is that WE do not embrace the Cross and thus the One who hung on it for us. We do not witness to the world of the Glory of the Resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ within and through us because we are not willing to allow to be crucified all that is flesh and sin in our lives so that He can abide in and live through us as He died to make possible. The problem is that we seek our own ways to glorify Him — which actually only glorify us — instead of doing what He called us to do — to leave all and follow Him.
Oh that we would!
This really, really blessed me. God led me to this today and I am so very grateful. Thanks, Hännah!
Though I don’t see you as much as I’d like to, I think you’re witty, intelligent, and fierce (although a better word could probably define that elusive character trait we both share). Last Saturday night will probably be a defining moment in our relationship…few others would discover the joy of tearing plastic tablecloths to shreds, and then share that joy
This post made me think of how much we don’t talk about God to each other, though we met in a church and that’s the main context for our communication. Also, I empathize with the dilemma of being independent yet being an example for younger siblings…
I also found your site through the Rebelution. I enjoyed your post, Hannah! I can really understand what you’re talking about. I also come from a family of 9 and I’m really involved in my church. Sometimes I’m become intimidated by the fact that people are watching and judging me. You’ve encouraged me. Keep up the good work!
How do you explain to a younger person that they don’t have the maturity to handle a certain privilege or responsibility? It’s not easy for sure. I’ve got four younger siblings who are always watchful. “Who said you could have that cookie?” Umm, I’m almost 20, I don’t usually ask my parents every time I eat. “Why can’t I go to that movie if you’re going?” You’re too young and you’re not allowed to go to PG-13 movies yet.
Hard things to explain. Of course the younger people aren’t just watching what we do, they’re watching how we act. Which holds us to an even higher standard.
I love that song by Rodney Atkins! I was flipping through channels one day and came across CMT and it was on. How true this is, that we are watched by those younger (and older) than us. Last summer before school started, my Youth Minister took the Juniors, Seniors, and entering college Freshmen on a Leadership Retreat. He told us that when we were first entering the Youth Group, we saw these really cool 11th and 12th graders who seemed so cool and so full of the Lord. Then he went on to say how the kids moving up into the Youth Group now look at us like that.
How scary is that?? It’s incredible, yet terrifying. I’m afraid that if I do something wrong, they’ll think it’s right and do it, too. It’s hard to believe that someone would actually wana look up to me, but I hope I’ve set a good enough example and shown them a thing or two about how to praise the Lord with everything they have a mean it.
Thank you for posting this, it’s something that a lot of people don’t stop and think about until it’s too late.
-Bee-