Like any hostess worth her salt, I rarely miss an opportunity to throw one of my well-practiced parties. Whether it be a disappointing grade, lack of achievement, unexpected circumstances, changes in my best-laid plans, or a battle against sin, my first tendency is often to either run to God and demand, “Why?”, or simply wallow in self-pity and cry “Woe is me.” I know, after all, that one of the reasons God does what He does is for my good. But if that’s true, why is He causing this to happen?

Therein lies the trouble.

Besides the truth that God really does work everything out for my good, even if I can’t perceive it in the moment, my pity party reveals an even deeper blindness on my part. I fail to remember the primary reason God does what He does. He does everything for His glory, and my good.

So often, I conveniently forget that His glory is God’s primary reason for doing what He does. Even salvation, the act that did me the most good, was ultimately executed for the glory of God.

“Your sins are forgiven for His name’s sake.” 1 John 2:12, ESV

“I, I am He who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins.” Isaiah 43:25, ESV

“For Your name’s sake, O Lord, pardon my guilt, for it is great.” Psalm 25:11, ESV

The way I view God’s purposes will affect the way I respond to my circumstances.

Though remembering God’s gracious goodness to His people in everything is right and good, when I put my primary focus on trying to find the benefit God intends for me in my circumstances while neglecting to recognize His pursuit of His glory, I can slip into a very self-centered view of the universe. When “trials of various kinds,” and other circumstances I don’t understand arise, and I can’t immediately see their good in my life, I fall quickly into unbelief. Even when clearly good and beneficial circumstances befall me, I often fail to thank God for His grace and keep my eyes open for ways in which He wants to use me to bring glory to Himself.

Having my eyes open to the truth that God’s foremost goal is to glorify and magnify Himself changes my entire outlook towards my circumstances. If everything from a low grade, to my struggle with sin is designed to bring God glory, then my question is no longer, “How can this be good for me, Lord?” but instead, “How can I magnify Your glory in this circumstance?” If God does everything for His glory, there is no room for unbelief, but only thankfulness that God has once again acted in a manner consistent with the greatness and power of who He is.

Asking such questions changes my actions as well. Often our circumstances provide an opportunity to respond to Him in a way that magnifies His glory in a new or unique way. I can praise God for the good grades, but how unique to a child of God to be able to thank Him in spite of the bad grades? I can trust Him when all my plans fall into place, but how confounding to the world to trust God when everything goes wrong?

Let’s learn to praise Him for His work and the opportunities He gives us, even when everything else seems to go awry.

Astonishingly, what God does for His glory also brings me the most good. How gracious of God to orchestrate things that way! John Piper puts it this way,

“The greatest love makes sure that God does everything in such a way as to uphold and magnify His own supremacy so that when we get [to Heaven] we have something to increase our joy forever–God’s glory.”

Friends, let our perspectives be renewed. As we encounter difficult situations, mountains of sin, or overflowing blessings from His hand let us trust Him for His goodness (visible or not), and labor with Him for His glory.

I. The Beauty of God

“I saw that from what appeared to be his waist up he looked like glowing metal, as if full of fire, and that from there down he looked like fire; and brilliant light surrounded him. Like the appearance of a rainbow in the clouds on a rainy day, so was the radiance around him. This was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the LORD. When I saw it, I fell facedown, and I heard the voice of one speaking.”
Ezekiel 1:27-28

“Your eyes will behold the king in his beauty; they will see a land that stretches afar.”
Isaiah 33:17

“One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple.”
Psalm 27:4

After studying this last verse the question came to mind, what does it look like to dwell in the house of the Lord? My answer came in Psalm 140:13. (Psalm 15 also addresses this.)

“Surely the righteous shall give thanks to your name; the upright shall dwell in your presence.”

II. The Beauty of Redemption

       A. Sin

“Our holy and beautiful house, where our fathers praised you, has been burned by fire, and all our pleasant places have become ruins.”
Isaiah 64:11

“From the daughter of Zion all her majesty has departed. Her princes have become like deer that find no pasture; they fled without strength before the pursuer.”
Lamentations 1:6

       B. Forgiveness

“Awake, awake, put on your strength, O Zion; put on your beautiful garments, O Jerusalem, the holy city; for there shall no more come into you the uncircumcised and the unclean.” Isaiah 52:1

“Blessed be the LORD, the God of our fathers, who put such a thing as this into the heart of the king, to beautify the house of the LORD that is in Jerusalem”
Ezra 7:27

“For how great is his goodness, and how great his beauty! Grain shall make the young men flourish, and new wine the young women.”
Zechariah 9:17

III. The consequence of taking pride in beauty

“But you trusted in your beauty and played the whore because of your renown and lavished your whorings on any passerby; your beauty became his.”
Ezekiel 16:15

“His beautiful ornament they used for pride, and they made their abominable images and their detestable things of it. Therefore I make it an unclean thing to them.”
Ezekiel 7:20

-Babylon

“And Babylon, the glory of kingdoms, the splendor and pomp of the Chaldeans, will be like Sodom and Gomorrah when God overthrew them.”
Isaiah 13:19

-Egypt

“The cedars in the garden of God could not rival it, nor the fir trees equal its boughs; neither were the plane trees like its branches; no tree in the garden of God was its equal in beauty… I will give it into the hand of a mighty one of the nations. He shall surely deal with it as its wickedness deserves. I have cast it out.”
Ezekiel 31:8, 11

IV. Actions that are deemed beautiful

“How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness, who publishes salvation, who says to Zion, ‘Your God reigns.’”
Isaiah 52:7

“…a woman came with an alabaster flask of ointment of pure nard, very costly, and she broke the flask and poured it over his head…. But Jesus said, “…She has done a beautiful thing to me.”
Mark 14:6-7

Hopefully as you read these verses they will speak to you the truth of the gospel and that God will use them in your life as He wills.

Through many situations at work, at home, and dealing with upcoming projects, God has been showing me that my strength comes through Him- and only Him. Trying to glean lasting comfort and strength elsewhere is fruitless.

“It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.” (Psalm 18:32, NIV)

Hännah:

I’ve been blessed this week as my family returned home from California, and the quiet week here alone ended. Some friends of ours blessed us by helping rearrange bedrooms and paint to suprise mom when she arrived. Also, I was very thankful to finally get some work for the summer. Seeing God provide at just the right time for His children has really been an encouragement.

Kaitlin:

This week God has shown me the importance of starting the day with my devotions. It leads to less distracted thoughts throughout the day, and more is gleaned from my devotions when my mind is “fresh” early in the morning.

Kate:

God has provided much grace this week even when I feel at my worst. It isn’t always fun, but I’m grateful that He works humility and dependence in us through our mistakes and shortcomings.

Katie Marie:

Katie Marie is in Texas this week at the Rebelution conference. Please pray for traveling safety and for God’s grace as the conference progresses!

Kelsey:

“And when they came to Jesus, they pleaded with him earnestly, saying, “He is worthy to have you do this for him…” And Jesus went with them. When he was not far from the house, the centurion sent friends, saying to him, “Lord, do not trouble yourself, for I am not worthy to have you come under my roof.” Luke 7:4-6

Riëtte:

God has been teaching me this week about depending on Him. Though you’d think any Christian “knows” to do so, I’ve been very convicted regarding my lack of doing so. Self-sufficiency does not please God and puts a burden on my shoulders that I cannot carry. There is much grace in depending on the One who can, though!

Steph:

How kind God is to give me a God-sized task that reveals all of my weaknesses. And how wonderful He is to promise His resources to me so that He gets the glory and I receive His strength!

Idolatry is nothing new. It’s been around forever. You can read countless stories in the Old Testament of how Israel frequently turned to the idols of the land where they were living. The most widely-known story of Israel’s idolatry can be found in Exodus 32. The Israelites had hardly even come out of Egypt, where God had worked miracles right before their eyes, before they turned to an idol made of their own hands.

Just as in Old Testament times so does idolatry rage today. If it isn’t a movie star being adored, it’s a material possession being worshipped. If it isn’t a possession, it’s a fashion trend, or radio show, or gossip magazine. Idolatry can even be other books that are read in place of the Bible, perhaps intentionally or not. It can be the authority we give to Christian authors over the authority God and His Word have. Idolatry’s anything that detracts from total devotion to God and His glory.

While recently reading Psalm 106 verse 20 almost made me laugh:

“They exchanged the glory of God for the image of an ox that eats grass.”

While that isn’t exactly funny, I wanted to laugh at the folly of idolatry that this verse clearly exposed. After reading this, I found myself asking, “What do I exchange the glory of God for?” For me, it’s sometimes my own wishes that keep me from following the will of God, or sometimes I sacrifice time reading my Bible for blog posts and emails. In light of eternity these reasons sound silly. I have the glorious hope of spending eternity with Christ in paradise yet here I am on earth wrapped up with myself and grumbling when things don’t quite go my way. I don’t know about you but it makes me feel really lame.

Despite my lameness, however, God is always merciful and faithful to forgive my ever-sinning heart. He moves me, refines me and changes me. He always draws me back to Himself while teaching and instructing me in the way I should go, even after I’ve wandered far from Him. He guides me with His loving hand and reminds me of how His name ought to always be praised above ever other name. He is worthy of all glory and honor. Not me or some worthless object – not ever. I am but dust. But my Heavenly Father is from everlasting to everlasting. The Alpha and Omega. The First and the Last.

You see, this monstrosity that I am has killed me, and I can’t do a thing about it. The only one great enough to ransom me from this slavery and give me life beyond the grave I’ve dug myself into is my Creator, and my dread foe—the Righteous Judge.

But the inevitable fate of my wretched soul to eternal damnation by the Holy One was thwarted by His own mercy.

He gave up His Son to His own terrible wrath, to the worst torment of soul imaginable, for my sake. Instead of enjoying eternal fellowship with His Father, Christ took the form of sinful man—that broken image of God—and walked the sin-weary world as a man.

Can you taste the bitterness in the air there in Judea? He could. He wept over it with a heart so full of love and aching that He would give His own lifeblood to overcome the acrid stench of sin that so permeated His handiwork. The people went about their lives before his eyes, and He wept over them. They were proud of their heritage, their customs, their laws; their clean hands and their orderly lives had almost hidden the wretchedness of their hearts from the unfamiliar eye. They had numbed themselves to their sin as they fed the monsters of pride and legalism that lurked in the back rooms of the synagogues. No different from you or me, they were just as dead in their sin and just as helpless under the gavel of God’s justice, but they kept busy and kept their hearts cold to Him, trying to fix themselves without His help or just hoping that because they were the favored children of Abraham that His justice might wink in their direction.

But they would never succeed, and His justice is perfect.

Christ came in the form of man, laying aside His right to justice, to honor, to worship, to His very creation. He left the continual fellowship and presence with His Father, and submitted to limitations and frailty—Adam’s curse could not stain Him, but He still bore the limitations that it had brought.

Then, He walked among His people, telling them of their wretchedness, but also that His Father was going to have mercy on their dead souls and bring life and hope to mankind in order that He would be glorified and be worshiped and loved as He ought. He told them that their regulations and customs were worthless, but He also told them what would be good and right instead.

But they were still dead and coldhearted—like me. They knew they were wretches, but they were proud wretches, and if you remind a poor man of his lack of goods, he will be riled up and irritable. And so with them. They hated that they needed His sort of redemption instead of the salvation by regulations that they had forged throughout the generations. Instead of taking heart at His promise of salvation and the joy that would be restored to His creation in that day of salvation, they turned on Him.

The creation mocked and scorned the Creator. The Healer and Maker was torn and bruised and battered and broken. His hands—the strong carpenter’s hands that had healed so many—were pierced until weak and lifeless. His back, which bore the weight of all our sorrows, was shredded under the lash until it could not bear up a beam of wood. His feet, which had grown dusty as He had walked about His footstool for our sake, were nailed to a tree and the blood washed them clean under the melancholy Jerusalem sky. And the Breath of Life that had first given light to Adam’s eyes and animation and life to all his offspring—at the hands of Adam’s sons the Breath of Life ceased to breathe.

The destruction of the image of God in man by man was utterly and finally complete.

But, the destruction of the power of sin in man was also utterly and finally complete. As the breath left the Lord’s body, He declared His purpose “finished.”

To fulfill the prophecy, He lay still and cold in a rich man’s tomb for three days. When the Sabbath was over, a woman whose demons—not unlike my own—had been driven from her by His strong right hand, found that her life was not over and that hope had been proven a hundred fold. He was risen, the victorious Lord of Creation, having conquered Death and crushed Sin. And life could be restored to dead hearts long cold in the ancient labyrinthine dungeons of Sin. Life and light had come at last.

That resurrection morning, the rebel in my soul shuddered and trembled in the brilliant light that flashed out of the tomb and came to rest in his former dwelling place. I may have been a slave to Sin, but Love called my name that morning to tell me that Sin was dead and as far removed from me as east is from west. There was no more need of submission to that depraved creature I had been. He used past tense, even though I could still see my own filthiness. There was victory in His eyes, and as He took my hand, I knew that there was a promise to never forsake me, to get Himself dirty as He rooted out the filth in me and to wash even those darkest, most terrible places with the purest of His living water. He gave me tools—a Comforter and a Counselor guide me, and His own Word to teach me of myself and of Him and His beautiful and perfect will for my new life. His smile as He looked upon me said that He delighted to restore His creation—His image in me—and would see this work to completion.

The book still lay in my lap, its pages still warm from my fingers. The discontent and wanderlust that filled my spirit had quenched my joy. But the Friend that Love had left with me had taught me that joy and satisfaction were best found in Him and His Word. The author of that novel had promised me happiness and peace if only… But the Author of my life had given me delight and that peace that comes only from a soul at ease before the Judge. Fear and damnation were no longer my lot, but rather a rich satisfaction much like that of a child perfectly content and utterly abandoning any cares in the bliss of a moment as he curls up in his mother’s lap. I’d tasted wine of the best vintage, and while the wild taste of creek water had tantalized me for a moment, it would leave me sick and shivering in the corner, afraid to look my Father in the eye.

So I laid aside that book, and took up another. The airy pages fluttered in my haste, and that rebel in my soul hung his head in misery as he crept back into the dark of starvation and gloom. My eyes lit upon these verses, and my heart again found peace in the presence of the Father…

“So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba! Father!’ The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” – Romans 8:12-18, ESV

Look! A host of wretchedness: Pride. Selfishness. Anger. Bitterness. Unrepentance. Lust. Envy. Malice. Ungratefulness. Rivalry. Contentiousness. Laziness.

You see that list above? That’s me. And I can’t shake who I am. My very being, my very nature, is consumed by my worst enemy—myself. Day by day this rot increases in my soul, and day by day I become more blind and numb to it. I am steadily becoming more unlike what I was intended, what I was created to be. This rot and filth are at the core of who I am, and the façade I’ve kept up for so long is cracking with the internal pressure from the buildup of sludge inside. The grotesque reality of who I am is about to burst the seams of my spanking clean, Sunday best exterior. Everything about me is in utter and total revolt against all that is good and holy—against the One who made me and established the laws of this world.

Pretty is as pretty does, I’m told. True enough, and I’ll add to the saying. Pretty is as pretty’s soul is. And mine? It’s a rebel, hating God. Hating His law and being the most ungrateful wretch in light of His goodness. Everything within me screams in rightful terror at the sight of God—He can only have the deepest, most righteous wrath toward a gruesome creature like me. God is holy. He is perfect, unable to bear the sight of any blemish. I was made to magnify and display His perfection and glory in every fiber of my being. Yet, I’m all blemish—worse than that, I don’t even really care about His holiness and my wretchedness. Without His law to tell me how wicked I am, I would never know the depth of my own monstrosity. He, the Sovereign Lord of all creation, has established His laws for His creation from the dawn of time, demanding holiness worthy of His presence. And I have spurned Him and His glory and traded all the scintillating glories of His presence and the matchless wonderfulness that it is to behold the beauty of His face for my own scummy, hollow vanities and refuse. What else can such behavior call for but immediate, total, and fearsome justice? I deserve the deepest, darkest hell imaginable, for I have marred, nay, destroyed the image of God that He created in me and in its place I have lifted up my own shabby self-portrait.

When I look at myself with honesty—or at least, as much honesty as I can bear—I know that I can never measure up to His holiness. I am helpless to even want to change myself and to love Him. He in His glory and beauty and perfection is the furthest thing from what my soul, alone in the natural, would ever aspire to love and imitate. I am the most crusty and hard-bitten rebel to His rule. My very nature is not only contrary to His nature, but actively fighting against His authority as Sovereign Lord with every smidge of power in my being. Not only am I opposing Him, but He is the very thing I need the most. Without Him to sustain and uphold me, I am dead.

Initially created to love beauty—to love Him—to delight in His ways and His presence, and made in His image to bring Him glory, I was born under the curse of sin and a slave bearing Adam’s shackles. Yet, Creator for Whom I was created is now my Enemy, for I have fallen under the shadow of death through my iniquity. He is the most fearsome and terrible foe to be conceived by a human mind, since, as the holy Lord of creation and Ruler of mankind, He requires righteousness of His subjects. Yet, I am a rebel and a traitor who has spurned Him and rejected His holy rule. I am rightfully deserving of the awful wrath of the holy God—for I was made in His image, and through sin, I have marred and perverted His image in me. And that deserves eternal and terrible wrath; that cries out for the justice of a holy King.

And there’s nothing stopping Him from pouring that wrath out on all mankind for walking this very road I have found myself on.

Nothing, that is, but the risen Son of God interceding for His children.

To be continued on Wednesday…

This week God has convicted me that this life is but a passing time. Everything I DO isn’t who I AM- and that in all things I do I must have Him as my centrepiece…as the One Object that is glorified. Not myself. Not my desires. But Him.

Kaitlin:

This week God was very kind to me when I went to get my meningitis shot and TB skin test. He gave me the strength to get through TWO shots in one day without getting badly nauseated or nearly fainting, something I could NEVER have done on my own.

Kate:

This week the Lord has reminded me to seek Him when I feel confused, or I don’t know what to do next. He has a plan and delights to teach His children to walk in it…now it’s just time for me to remember to ask!

Kelsey:

This week, as I have been studying Luke, God has been revealing to me a better understanding of who the person of Christ is. I’ve been learning that often our view of Christ is flawed by our sinful perspective. As we seek Him, we begin to see him more accurately.

Riette:

This week God gave me grace to live through a busy/difficult week. We are gearing up for a youth camp (in 11 short days) that I’ve been working on for several months. It’s a regional event including 7 different churches, 450 teens and parents. To Him be the glory!

Stephanie:

This week has been one of running to Jesus with nothing in my hands and simply resting in His love, “abiding” in His love (John 15). He’s giving me sweet, sweet rest in His presence after weeks of striving for peace on my own.

Emma does much good in her society, and to her friends. However, her motives are often selfish. For the wrong reasons. And often when she has the chance to do something truly noble, she doesn’t—in the same spirit. Self overcomes.

Sound familiar? Do we ever have willing hands…but grudging hearts?

Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.
[2 Corinthians 9:6-8 NIV]

That, I think, is a convicting passage. We, as Christians, are not only called to have willing hands…but willing hearts. We are not called to give “reluctantly, or under compulsion.” In fact, we are told NOT to give when our hearts are under those conditions! As an example in my life, my sister and I have often been involved in volunteer work (though sometimes our parents volunteered us!). It’s a constant struggle with my heart to be sure that my spirit matches my smile.

Of course, we can’t help it if we don’t enjoy the tasks of our hands.

But isn’t that about growing close to God? We become more like the people we hang about with.
God loves giving of Himself.
Many of us have habits of giving of ourselves already.
Perhaps, after all, we should be spending more time with God, so that our hearts are always invested in the giving, and not just our hands.

Because:
“The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
[1 Samuel 16:7 NIV]

Unfortunately, my forgetfulness extends beyond the Why Am I Here Syndrome. The vacuum, the drifting space, is ever present in my walk with the Lord. I am an earthbound sinner with simple mental functions. And, to make matters worse, Satan is actively seeking to rob my memory while the World constantly tosses distractions in my path—they both side with my sinful nature, making the fight to not forget the new creature I am in Christ a difficult one. Forgetfulness makes me linger in my old nature. And you know as well as I do, friends, that that nature provides no joy and brings no glory to God. Perhaps this is why God commands His children throughout Scripture to remember, to not forget, to recall who He is what He’s done for them.

Take this passage for instance, and remember with me…

Remember these things, O Jacob,
for you are My servant, O Israel.
I have made you, you are My servant;
O Israel, I will not forget you.
I have swept away your offenses like a cloud,
your sins like the morning mist.
Return to Me, for I have redeemed you.     Isaiah 44.21-22

Remember these things:

You are My servant
I am not yours; you cannot define Me, contain me, control me, or change me. You exist to bring Me glory. And when you are glorifying Me alone – then will you find satisfaction.

I have made you
I formed you in the womb. I designed every part of you with divine love, care, and purpose. I know you thoroughly—your heart, your mind, your ambitions, your will, your weaknesses. Because I made you, you are Mine — my darling property — and I take utmost interest in the welfare of My own.

You are My servant
I will say it again. You are everlastingly my beloved bondservant. I have branded you with My name. You may run away, or serve other masters, or fail to serve Me wholly and perfectly, but I will call you back and still use you for My purposes.

I will never forget you
I have engraved you on the palm of My hand. You are Mine, and I will never let you go. You are never too small, too weak, or too inadequate that I would overlook you or throw you away. You may forget Me, but I will never forget you.

I have swept away all of your offenses
I have removed your sins as far as the East is from the West. Your debt is paid by the blood of Christ, and His righteous life is accredited to you. I will remember your sins no more! You are washed clean in My sight.

I have redeemed you
I have redeemed you from the curse of the law, by becoming a curse for you. Look to the cross – this is how much I love you! I laid down My life that I may adopt you as My child. If that doesn’t give you value, dear one, then what does?

and because these things are true… Return to Me

God calls us to remember truths such as these. He takes the sin of forgetfulness seriously; He knows it’s to our harm to lose sight of these truths. So let’s be purposeful and fight that vacuum, reminding ourselves of who He is. This includes remembering what we read in our quiet time, how a sermon pierced our hearts, His specific promises to us, what He is doing in our lives, how He has been faithful to us thus far, and – perhaps most importantly – that He will never forget us no matter what.

What does “remembering and returning” look like practically in your life? I’d love to hear what tools (i.e. journaling, sticky notes, accountability) help you to “not forget”.

Psalm 96
Oh sing to the Lord a new song;
sing to the Lord, all the earth!
Sing to the Lord, bless his name;
tell of his salvation from day to day.
Declare his glory among the nations,
his marvelous works among all the peoples!
For great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised;
he is to be feared above all gods. - Psalm 96: 1-4 ESV

Au revoir no longer! I’m back to blogging with Forthright Fixation. And very glad to be. Thank you dear Forthright Fixation girls for the grace extended to me in my absence.

The past few months of my life have been filled with a flurry of excitement, disappointments, new challenges and yes, on and on. Yet, and I say this with absolutely certainty, and no shame of being labeled cliche-ish: The God we serve is so good! In celebration of His goodness, I’d like to use this post to recount just one of the several stories of His goodness in my life these past months.

Over a year ago, as high school sophomore, I decided I want to go to Bolivia. You see, I have an uncle and aunt down there who help with a church, run a Christian radio station, preach the gospel…and show the love of Christ to the native Bolivians. In my eyes, I figured that this was it—after my high school graduation, I would go to Bolivia and help my aunt home school her kids, do whatever needed done, and have an opportunity to interact with people who needed the hope of Christ. But God did not see it that way. In fact, I felt like the door was slammed in my face 4 months later when that same aunt and uncle came back to the States and informed us that they were on an indefinite furlough until God let them back to Bolivia. Wham! Yes, the door was closed.

Fast forward to this spring. I’m graduating, I’m looking at colleges, and yes, though Bolivia was removed from my present future, in its absence was the strong, still, desire to work be able to work one on one with people. But I didn’t know what to do with that desire. I think I should go into some sort of counseling, not for career in the field, but for experience for whatever ministry God might call me to in my life. But what is that? I’m confused.

That was challenging. Wait. Very challenging. I looked in Moody Bible College, very interested in their counseling degrees. I sent off for information from The Master’s College. For so many reasons, I definitely did not want to go to the local college, Oklahoma Baptist University. But nothing would come together with Moody and Masters, while the scholarships flooded in for Oklahoma Baptist University.

And yes, even in more instances than external circumstances. He has become more and more to me. Not because He’s changed, but because He has changed me. Not because He’s given me all the answers, but because He proven faithful to let me rest even without answers. He is answering a cry of my heart: Lord, will you make yourself more real to me than anything else in this world? And indeed, these last months, He has become more real to me than ever before. As I fight the conflicting desires of my flesh versus the new creature I am in Christ, He faithfulness astounds me! He keeps drawing me back to himself! His love is great. In my trial, He is my joy, my strength, my redeemer.

Most days, I’m still not sure about this OBU stuff and my college life. To be honest, I still don’t know…well, much of anything about my “life after high school.” But I am sure about my God. In these events recounted, He has given me yet another a testimony of His faithfulness, and I will praise Him.

Psalm 100
Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth!
Serve the Lord with gladness!
Come into his presence with singing!
Know that the Lord, he is God!
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.
Enter his gates with thanksgiving,
and his courts with praise!
Give thanks to him; bless his name!
For the Lord is good;
his steadfast love endures forever,
and his faithfulness to all generations. Psalm 100 ESV